


Your Choice

by MikeWritesThings



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Trans Octane | Octavio Silva
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24051643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikeWritesThings/pseuds/MikeWritesThings
Summary: "If I got top surgery, would you miss my boobs?" Octavio asked, deadly serious, which was unusual for him."What," Taejoon responded very intelligently.
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Octane | Octavio Silva
Comments: 3
Kudos: 95





	Your Choice

**Author's Note:**

> the original title to this was just going to be "untitled cryptane fic" but i changed it to something slightly less cringe
> 
> ANYWAYS THIS IS JUST. A SHORT THING cuz im BORED and dont have the patience to update my longfics
> 
> tws: 
> 
> octane is trans in this fic and there is extensive talk about his chest. like that is the whole point of this fic actually LMAO. i jump between words i.e. boobs/breasts because theyre both awkward words for me so sorry. also a mention to unsafe binding practices.
> 
> nothing too explicit except for like casual mentions to sex and crypto gets a little handsy at one point
> 
> octane uses "feminine" terms for his genitalia one(1) time

Octavio was not at all ashamed of his parts. Which, good for him, but often left Taejoon not sure on how to respond to certain things, because he had always had cis male partners in the past, so like, how the fuck was he supposed to answer "hey does my pussy taste weird to you" when eating his boyfriend out?

That didn't stop Octavio from asking him many awkward questions over the course of their relationship though, questions that Taejoon wasn't really sure how to answer because he tended to overthink things, the most current example being—

“If I got top surgery, would you miss my boobs?”

_What._

“Huh," Taejoon said, because that was the most intelligent thing he could come up with at the moment. He had been staring at his computer blankly for at least half an hour, willing the wall of code in front of him to just delete itself, when this question had been asked. His brain was still trying to process it.

“My boobs. My tits. My breasts. Whatever the fuck you want to call them.” Octavio cupped one with his hand, as if to demonstrate. He was wearing a loose t-shirt with a cartoon bunny on it, and its face was stretched comically due to the way Octavio had gripped his shirt. “These. Would you miss ‘em?”

“Um.” He didn’t know how to answer that, or if he even _should_ answer that. “Does it matter..?”

“Yeah.” The other sounded serious, which was unusual for him, and instantly set off alarms inside of Taejoon's head.

“Well.” Taejoon really did not know what the aim of this conversation was, but he was afraid to answer all the same. Did Octavio want top surgery? Was Taejoon’s answer going to change the outcome? Did he _not_ want top surgery but felt that Taejoon would like him better that way? What was going on. Why did it have to come to this. 

He noticed his boyfriend's foot tapping impatiently, and mumbled out, "They’re nice...I guess...but it’s your decision...”

“You’re being unhelpful,” Octavio told him.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I don’t _want_ you to say anything." Octavio pointed the sharp tip of the pencil he had been fiddling with at Taejoon like a knife. "I want you to tell me the _truth_.”

Taejoon closed his laptop slowly, because this was going to require his full attention apparently.

Okay. Would he miss them? Maybe. Just a little bit, perhaps. They were nice to touch, especially when Octavio was little spoon. Hell, they were cool when he was big spoon too and Crypto could feel them against his back. They were soft. And. Round?? What the hell did Octavio even want him to say? Taejoon was bad at this.

He didn’t understand dysphoria very well, but surely they would contribute to Octavio’s, right? So it didn’t matter if he liked them or not. He would much rather his partner be comfortable in his own body than anything else, regardless of Taejoon’s feelings. If Octavio liked them, good for him. If he didn’t and decided to get surgery, good for him. It was not Taejoon’s body, so his opinion shouldn’t matter.

He relayed all of this information to Octavio, who rolled his eyes, letting out an impatient little noise.

“Fuck off,” he said, and stabbed the pencil into a styrofoam cup that Taejoon had been drinking from. “You’re not helping, cariño. I need _answers._ Will you miss my tits or not?”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Taejoon told him desperately, but Octavio's eyes narrowed.

“Too bad.”

“I literally could _not_ care what you do.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.” Octavio stood up now, and took off his shirt, as if looking Directly At Them would somehow influence Taejoon’s answer. “Okay, rephrase: do you _like_ them?”

Taejoon would be honest—it took some getting used to. He had never been with a trans man before, and had always felt that every step he took towards having an intimate relationship had been the wrong one. He remembered at the beginning of their relationship, he had avidly refused to even look at Octavio’s general chest area until one night, with Octavio’s back pressed up against his front, his boyfriend had grabbed his hand and said, “You don’t have to act so allergic to me.”

“I'm not," Taejoon mumbled against the skin of the other's neck. They had _just_ finished jerking each other off, so he had no idea where this accusation was coming from.

Octavio then placed Taejoon’s hand onto his chest, which he didn't notice at first. He then realized just _what_ exactly he was now holding, and squeezed in panic.

"Nice," Octavio said.

"I'm sorry," Taejoon said quickly, retracting his hand because _oh god was he allowed to do that what if he made him uncomftorable god they really should have talked about this_ before _they had sex._

“ _Tranquilo_ ," Octavio had laughed, as if sensing Taejoon's panic. “It’s not a big deal, dude.”

Up until that point, Taejoon had been pointedly refusing to acknowledge the existence of Octavio’s breasts. He had felt like it was a forbidden subject, and didn’t know if bringing them up would make him uncomfortable or dysphoric. He didn’t know if the other was planning to get top surgery or not, and didn’t want to put pressure on him if he felt that Taejoon was disgusted by them, which he wasn’t. He just didn’t know how to go about it.

But Octavio eased him into. Well, ‘easing’ was actually the exact opposite of what Octavio did. More like ‘made Absolutely Sure that Taejoon knew he _did_ like his boobs and he wanted them to be squeezed when they were cuddling _thank you_ ’, but it quickly erased all hang-ups Taejoon had about them, and he felt much more casual about touching them, whether it be during sex or in general. Talking about them, too—he felt able to express concern for the other when he wore his binder far too much, especially whenever he wanted to pull outrageous stunts.

("You're going to hurt yourself with that thing on," Taejoon said while Octavio strapped on his motorcycle helmet. He had glimpsed the binder when his crop-top had ridden up, and was a little miffed because the other had a sports bra that he could be using instead.

"Nah, it's fine. Ajay can patch me up," Octavio said, and took a selfie in front of the ring of fire.

"I will _not!_ " The medic shouted from a distance, but it was already too late.)

So, did Taejoon like Octavio's breasts? Well, yes, because they were a part of his boyfriend. By default, he liked them. Just like he liked the other’s crooked grin; and the scar on his nose from where his nose ring had been ripped out; and the numerous freckles all over his body. He liked it all.

So Taejoon said, “Yeah. I like them.”

“Good,” Octavio said, hands on his hips. “Because I’ve decided they’re not going anywhere.”

There was a pause.

“So what was that all about, then?”

“Just wonderin’," Octavio said with a grin, because it was apparently his life goal to be irritating.

Taejoon pressed a hand to his own chest, slumping down in his seat with a sigh. "You were giving me anxiety.”

“How?”

“I was worried that whatever I said would...I don’t know. Change your mind?” It sounded stupid saying it out loud. “I didn’t know if you were asking because you were considering surgery. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to get it if you thought I didn’t like them, or didn’t get it because I _did_ like them.”

“I’ve already made my choice for now,” Octavio said brightly. "I just wanted to know how you'd react."

He then laid down on Taejoon’s bed, kicking his dirty metal legs up against the wall, _just_ to be annoying. He was still shirtless, which Taejoon had gotten used to at this point. The other liked being shirtless, and it didn’t feel necessarily sexual anymore.

"Guess how long the recovery time for it is?" Octavio said, ripping Taejoon's styrofoam cup to shreds.

"Two weeks?" He had googled it once, but didn't quite remember the result.

“Six fucking weeks, ‘Joon. _Six._ ”

“That’s a whole season right there,” Taejoon hummed, opening up his laptop again. He couldn’t imagine the other taking that long of a break from the Apex Games. Hell, he hadn’t even taken proper recovery time for his _legs._

“Exactly!” He heard Octavio slap his hand against his own skin. “They’re staying, because _fuck that._ Also, I’m naming them.”

Taejoon’s fingers paused over his keyboard. _He's fucking what._ “You’re joking. Right.”

“Only a little bit.”

Taejoon took a deep inhale and didn’t let it out, getting back to work and trying not to acknowledge his boyfriend still talking behind him.

“I think....I’m gonna name this one Alex. I don’t want to gender them, y’know? So they’re gonna be gender-neutral.”

_Don't look at him. It's what he wants._

"I think I'm gonna get Alex pierced. _Both_ of them pierced. Would that be hot?"

“Is it attention? Is it attention you want?” Taejoon broke much sooner than he thought he would, twisting around in his chair to face the other. “I will give you attention. _Please_ do not name your boobs.”

“Hey, you _just_ said it’s _my_ body,” Octavio pointed out, because he was awful.

“ _Octavio._ ”

“If you come over and hold Alex, I’ll consider not naming the other one," his boyfriend said with a grin, pushing the mess of styrofoam off of the bed and onto the floor.

“I want to break up," Taejoon said, looking at the shredded pieces on his rug.

“You can't. You're stuck with me."

Taejoon closed his laptop once again, shrugging his jacket off and standing up, discarding it onto his chair. He might as well entertain his boyfriend before he could make an even further nuisance of himself. Besides, he liked laying with him.

He climbed onto his bed along with Octavio, who wiggled over a little to give him some more room. Taejoon wrapped one arm around his waist, pulling the shorter man closer to his body so that their hips were aligned. He then started rubbing his hand up and down Octavio's body, running his fingers gently over his ribs, down his side and over his hips before continuing the journey back up.

He liked doing this. Sometimes Octavio didn't allow this—being all explosive and hyperactive and _Octavio_ —so he liked to treasure these little moments of his boyfriend being still and allowing him to touch him without demanding for even more, too much too fast. He was kind of in the mood for _more,_ though.

He traced his fingers over Octavio's collarbones before letting his hand travel lower, skimming over the skin of his chest before cupping one of his breasts, thumbing at his nipple the way he liked. He heard the other's breath hitch and moved to kiss his jaw, sliding a leg between his to press them closer together.

"I don't wanna," Octavio suddenly said, jittery against him, and Taejoon pulled away quickly.

"Sorry," he apologized, retracting his hand and slipping his leg from between Octavio's.

"No, you can still hold me. And touch my boob. I just don't wanna do anything sexy right now. _Tengo hambre._ "

" _Alrada._ " Taejoon returned to his previous position, but this time just rubbed gentle circles into the other's chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath his fingertips. A rare calm moment right before the thundering storm. In five minutes Octavio would spring up and drag him to dinner, but for now he could enjoy this close intimacy with another person. It wasn't something he'd had for years, but he had it now, and he didn't want to let go anytime soon. Even if the person in question was Octavio fucking Silva, in all his crooked, explosive, and rough glory.

"You never said if me piercing my nipples would be hot or not," Octavio said, because he could never shut up for long.

Taejoon bit back his sigh, and pondered it briefly. "...A little bit."

"I'll get them pierced tomorrow, then."

"Do whatever you want."

"Except name them, apparently."

"Yes. Everything but _that._ "

**Author's Note:**

> ❌no more trans men feeling obligated to get top surgery in order to be a 'real' or 'valid' man❌ ❌society has progressed past the need for that❌
> 
> tranquilo: chill out/calm down  
> tengo hambre: im hungry  
> alrada: okay/alright


End file.
